Let’s Get Personal

Ms. Rachel is the reason I’m an intimacy professional.

No, really!

My kids have long been involved in theater. As I became more involved as a parent, I kept seeing the same issues over and over again: a lack of clear boundaries, actors feeling uncomfortable but not having the language to express it, or being shut down when they did.

On several occasions, I brought up my concerns to other parents, teachers, and administrators. Every time, I thought, “Someone’s going to step up, right? Somebody more qualified, somebody with more experience. I’m just a parent. I’m nobody.”

Enter Ms. Rachel, giving a commencement speech at NYU. I listened as she talked about looking online for a show to help her son with speech delay. She said, “I couldn’t find anything like what I was imagining. I kept thinking someone should do a show with all the great speech development strategies and early intervention techniques we were learning. I realized maybe I should try to make it.”

She talks about feeling under-qualified, but then goes on to say, “Six billion views later, we are the company that we were waiting for to make the show.”

Ms. Rachel was right. I’m the somebody. Even if I didn’t have it all figured out, I knew this work mattered, and I couldn’t wait around for someone else to step up.

Starting my training with Intimacy Directors and Coordinators (IDC) was terrifying. I felt so out of my depth. But what I found there was a community of people just like me—people who saw the same gaps and had the same drive to make change. I wasn’t alone. And I realized that passion and a willingness to learn are exactly what qualify me.

This job can be hard, but I carry Ms. Rachel’s voice in my head saying, “You don’t need to wait for anyone else to show up. When you see a need, when you see an injustice, a way the world could be better—use the unique gifts and talents you have to serve the world. The one you are waiting for to change the world, the one with the power and the genius and the vision—it’s you.”